Nov 28, 2010

Pray If You Will

If pressed I would have to describe myself as agnostic although that's a rather simplified statement of my beliefs. Though I would say that, I am oddly drawn to the Catholic faith and its cathedrals from time to time, particularly the older and grander ones like the St. James Cathedral in Seattle.  Oddly enough our home phone number is one digit off from theirs and from over the past 20 years we've received phone calls from confused people in crisis looking for a priest or sister. It's just a funny coincidence I thought I'd mention. There is something about stepping into one of these cathedrals that feels very special and sacred. If you've never done it I suggest you do, regardless of your religious persuasion. It is an amazing experience that leaves me feeling connected to the ancient and all beings and their suffering.  It's particularly moving at night when the desperate tend to come for solace. The warmth of candlelight in the majesty of that architecture is something unique and palpable. Their doors are open to people of all faiths or non-faiths, as the case may be. My children have never been to church so imagine their surprise when I took them to the cathedral in the evening after school to light candles for their sister. I find the room of the Mary Shrine to be particularly moving with the imagery of mother and child and all the candle holders shaped as nails and a symbol of suffering.  Something my baby girl has had far too much of.

You see, we are coming up on Ainsley's eyelid surgery (as well as the leg plate removal and brain MRI), now that it's Sunday night there are only 3 days until we'll be waking up and taking her in at dawn. I am so incredibly unsure about this decision that I will take guidance and/or reassurance from anywhere I can. So please if you feel inclined to, please pray for Ainsley: that she stays well between now and Thursday morning; that the occuloplastic surgeon has clarity of mind and execution of skill; that the results will be beneficial and the result to the appearance of her eyes will only be positive.

Ainsley is such a sweet girl. She's been through so much, she really deserves to have a good outcome.


  1. Oh Susan,
    My positive thoughts will be with Ainsley. It will be successful I just know it.

    Hugs and much love to you.

  2. Yes, I will say a prayer for Ainsley, her surgeon and for positive results, as well as a prayer for you too Susan- for peace and strength.


  3. I will pray, too. I know how difficult these decisions are. You are doing the best you can to give her the best life possible. Please know that I will be sending lots of positive vibes and prayers your way. You both deserve a GREAT outcome from this!!!!

    Much love,

  4. I've been reading your blog for a long time and have never posted. I just wanted you to know that, as a lurker, I have been praying for Ainsley whenever she has a procedure for as long as I have been reading. You have drawn me into your family with your photographs and excerpts from your life! I am not telling you this to pat myself on the back, but to reassure you that there are many people out there that will be praying for your sweet little girl on Thursday.

  5. My thoughts and prayers will be with sweet Ainsley, your whole family & all the medical professional taking care of her :0)

  6. I've got Ms. Ainsley Rae on my "to think positive thoughts for" this week!

    I can't believe I didn't tell you about the blog...probably because it really sucks...I haven't had much time to sit down for more than 5 minutes at a clip.

    So...I can absolutely relate to this post, Susan. It's a topic near and dear to me! I'm an atheist. 100% no doubt-non-believer. That said, I was raised Catholic and have always been fascinated with Catholic art. I've been collecting statues, rosaries, painting, prints, books...since I was a child. I have a rosary ring tattoo. Though I never ever believed, more doubtful as I became older. I just love going into old churches. My favorites are St Patrick's Cathedral and St John the Divine (Episcopal) in Manhattan...I love Gothic revival. Talk about AWE!!

    Kisses to Ainsley- hugs to mommy.xo

    Kerry :))