Mar 7, 2013

Parenting I Quit

Last week I was lamenting to a fellow SN mom that I am tired. Having 3 kids can be tiring period. Having a husband who comes home after homework, dinner and bedtime every night month after month doesn't help matters. And then there are Ainsley's ever present needs which are many: routine around the clock trach care, oral + g-tube feeding, assisting with toileting/dressing/teeth brushing/positioning, plus trying to squeeze in as much home "therapy" as possible every day with stretching/standing/balance/walking (all things gross motor), cutting, drawing and all things fine motor, oral exercises and eating, cognitive (colors, letters, numbers, vocab) and communication (oral/AAC/sign language) which I frequently cannot do as much as I'd like; not to mention all things medical research/scheduling/ordering/cleaning/stocking med supplies & equipment, attending appointments surgeries etc. etc. Then there is the fact that Ainsley's equipment alarms and she needs care (suctioning & repositioning) in the middle of the night and that has disrupted our sleep nearly every night of the last 6 years.

The mom I was talking to suggested taking Ainsley to a respite facility so we can go on a family vacation like to Disneyland (which I personally love but find exhausting). I think she missed the point. Getting away for a week still means coming back to all that. What I really dream of is a solo vacation. Really it's probably just a fantasy. My family means too much to me to leave them behind, and since we haven't been on a family vacation in a couple years (Steve's work schedule) it's not likely that I will be able to convince my husband that as a SAHM I deserve some PTO. I know I'm not alone in having these feelings. It doesn't mean I don't love my kids. That's why when I saw this  this blog post today, called Parenting I Quit at Parenting. Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, laughed my head off. I'm posting it here just in case you need a laugh today too.

I also liked these posts:

What It Is Like To Not Sleep At Night (I wish she'd draw a special version just for us trach moms. Ainsley spent a lot of the night coughing last night.)
Toddler Diaper Changes (I'm so glad that Ainsley is finally toilet trained. After 12 years of kids in diapers I was getting tired of this game.)
Doctor Visits (This is especially challenging for our medically complex kiddos who are in and out of doctor offices and at real risk from getting sick.)
The Uppers & Downers of Parenting (or Coffee & wine) (I don't know if any SN moms can survive without caffeine.)

Actually every single post of hers I read was hilarious. I hope you find them funny too.


  1. When you reach that point where you feel like you desperately want a solo vacation - then you really do need one. I will be the first to admit that it is very difficult to go away by yourself and leave your family behind -- even if for just a day. But, I promise that practice makes perfect and it is necessary for one's mental health - especially for those of us who parent kids with a lot of medical needs. If I lived nearby, I'd drag you away for a day. :)

    I LOVED Evie's birthday party pictures. Your kids are so lucky to have such a creative and dedicated mom.


  2. Susan....
    Life is hard, for all of us in our own personal way. Some have it worse than others. This is not exactly a negative concept, just a fact. For me, life being hard would entail living with unwanted learning disabilities, I've wished I were "normal"!! As resulted, I have struggled mightily with self-acceptance. And, I do not, by any means at all, have this whole "life is hard" thing figured out!! God is working on that in me.... ;)
    Everybody needs a vacation. You live in Seattle, right? What about a day--just one day--alone at the coast? Can't somebody watch Ainsley for one day? ;)

  3. Love that blog! Must be the cussing. There's just something about cussing that makes you feel a wee bit better, you know? I have heard the term caregiver burnout before - but I've never felt closer than I do right now. Not only is our job physically demanding - but mentally, sometimes it's overwhelming. So many questions, so many unknowns and despite that, so many decisions to be made. It's so exhausting!

    I swear one day we need to meet somewhere for a girl's weekend. I say if we can't get away to a beachy place, we meet near Ann. She always talks about Sedona. I guess a girl can dream, huh? xoxo

    Big hugs and thank for sharing the laughs!