Surgery Cancelled

Why oh why can things never go as planned?! After Ainsley's surgery (tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy/laryngoscopy/chest and head CT/possible vocal cord lasering) was cancelled in September I was very much anticipating the eventual arrival of today's surgery. I would be lying if I said I wasn't counting down the days like a kid before Christmas. I so wanted this surgery to happen this time for all of the reasons I've written about in the past. I kept Ainsley home from school and didn't take her anywhere this past week. Things were looking good. Even the lingering snotty nose from the H1N1 a few weeks prior was completely gone. She was 100% healthy. Hooray!

Then at the end of her shift on Tuesday her nurse reported a temperature of 99, after she got up from her nap. I thought perhaps it was a fluke. The temp returned to normal later so I thought we were out of the woods. But then last night after her nap it spiked at 101.7 with an elevated heart rate. Still the optimist in me thought perhaps it was just the ear infection I knew she'd had a few weeks prior flaring up again and that the fever might break. It was after hours and too late to call and cancel anyway so I put her to bed hoping the fever would break over night. I hardly slept all night, jumping up to suction every time there was an odd sound and every time the oximeter would false alarm when she'd move the foot with the probe on it. I'd watch her heart rate and O2 level, feeling her head hoping there was a change. We got her up at 6:00am to give the last allowable feeding, just in case, and then put her back to bed. We got the kids off to school. Steve and I talked it over. Even after having a quick bath she still had a temp of 99.6. I called the hospital and spoke personally with both the anesthesiologist and surgeon and gave them all the details. They both felt it was best to reschedule because of the recent fever and the potential that she had something respiratory brewing that the anesthesia would make worse. Since the surgery isn't life threatening they wouldn't take the risk. "That's what you get for being honest," he says. Crap! Why do I always feel compelled to tell the truth?! Is it to late to take it back and pretend I didn't tell you? That's what I was thinking in my head.

Well what-da-ya-know 20 minutes after I made the call she has a really gross stinky poop. Aha! Now at least I know what was going on. Perhaps they'd agree to do the surgery since it isn't a respiratory issue?! Okay, I know that's denial speaking in my head. It's too late and I have to concede defeat. Damn! How did this happen? Evie had diarrhea a few days prior. She hadn't told me and I found the evidence when doing laundry. But at that point Ainsley had already been exposed and at the time I didn't know if it was food related. It is incredibly frustrating to try so hard to keep your child from getting sick to have it fall apart at the last minute. And of course I feel bad that the surgeon has an empty spot in his schedule. Now I also have a low grade temp and feel a little queasy. Great!

So later in the morning I call to reschedule and the available dates are 12/24 (Ha!) or January (when she is supposed to have her brow surgery.) Now she doesn't have the CT she needs for the brow surgery so she'll have to have an additional anesthesia. Crap! And I'll either have to reschedule the brow surgery or wait for the tonsillectomy which will push out her hip surgery and maybe even the eye surgery. This is why I was being so careful to keep her well. Next time I guess we'll all have to wear masks the entire week before the surgery date?! Or truly quarantine the house. I'm being sarcastic, or am I?!

I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. And it seemed quiet. Too quiet. Ainsley had curled up in a ball and fallen asleep on the living room floor. I guess she really wasn't feeling that great and it is good I didn't try to sneak her through the system using a secret and forbidden dose of Tylenol as I was sorely tempted to do. I wish I could say doing the right thing felt good. Now she's napping and I'm pretty damn sure that when she wakes up her temperature will be normal and she'll be her chipper happy self. Because that's would be the perfect finish to this day.