Happiness Week 39

I was hoping to show you a lovely photo of my frames all filled up with beautiful pictures of my smiling family. Sadly, that's not gonna happen. The frames are up on the walls but I'll be lucky if they are filled by Christmas at this rate. The rainy weather is coming, I swear, and maybe that will feel like a better time to be stuck on the computer for hours and hours. Right now we are trying to get stuff done to the yard to prepare for winter. I already told you about that so I won't go into it again.

We are definitely in the school grind with homework, soccer and paperwork galore. The kids are doing well. In case you missed it, check out this video of Ainsley riding a trike at school! I think this year we feel a little less "out of place" in Redmond. It's a nice place to live. There are trees and green everywhere and the leaves are changing color and are about to fall. There are a number of farms nearby. I hope to make it to one of the pumpkin patches with the kids but couldn't resist buying a $2.99 pumpkin from Trader Joe's to set next to the front door to welcome October.

October is my absolute favorite month of the year. That's why we picked it to get married.  It'll be 16 years on the 19th. Ainsley turns 6. Steve will be mixing sound at the annual Salmon Days Festival for the last time, after 31 years 29th year(he was just a teen). And of course there's Halloween.  It'll be busy but fun.

I hope you have a fantastic week whatever you have going on in your life.

Daily Happiness Photos - Week 39

9/24 Mulch Day

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We had 20 cubic yards of mulch delivered to the house for the gardeners to spread. They finished all but 2 yards that Steve spread this weekend. I'm hoping this cuts down on the massive amount of weeds and yardwork. Please, pllllllease let it work! 

09/25 Found Rocks

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There are parts of my yard that are lined with rock. It's an interesting detail of the landscaping that I rather like. I was considering getting more but wanted it to match. Plus I didn't really want to pay for it. So I was very happy to find that there were already rocks there, probably buried the last time the yard was mulched. All I had to do is dig them out and put them back on top, though it took quite a lot of time that I'd have rather been doing something else I was very please that it's done.

09/26 Adrian Making Up Pokemon

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Adrian's a smart kid. He's memorized so much information about Pokemon; their traits, evolsions, powers, attacks, health points....and there are hundreds of the things. Now he's making up his own and they are pretty cute. I love that he's excited about this and working hard at it. It's so fun when he comes and shows me a new creation.

09/27 Tucking the Kids Into Bed

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I love tucking the kids in at bedtime and our special way of saying goodnight. Evie's always hated to go to bed. I used to have to climb into bed with her. Thankfully she eventually she outgrew it but on a tough day I will still do that sometimes until she falls asleep. We learned of the tragic death of a child in the community today. It's SO sad. Our hearts go out to the family. We gave our kids lots of extra doses of love today.

09/28 Terracotta Pot

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When Steve and I were on our honeymoon (in Spain and Portugal) we had the best chicken paprika baked in a clay pot by a sweet lady who was friends with the Englishman who ran the Pensione in Salema Portugal. It was a meal I won't ever forget. After a little research (I'll spare you the backstory) I found this beautiful Italian roaster at TJ Maxx, for a fraction of the cost that it's sold through this website, Bram, in case you want to know more about clay pot cooking. I'm saving it for a Christmas present to myself but it's going to be really hard to wait to use it. 

09/29 Sling Shot

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I made Adrian this slingshot with the suede from my old gardening glove.  It seems only proper that a boy ought to have one. Hopefully he doesn't break a window.

09/30 Getting Rid of Kid Junk

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Adrian has a captain's bed. That means he has tons of drawers filled with more bits and bobs than you can imagine. Because he can always quickly shove things in the drawers to "clean his room".  Who was the idiot that gave him hundreds of rubber bands, marbles, magnets and let him use his allowance and birthday money to buy gobs of trading cards? Oh yeah, that was ME!  It took the entire day but we got him organized. And we brought out 2 bags of trash and recycling too. Now he has space in his drawers again and we found lots of things that were "missing". All that makes me happy and I hope I won't have to do it again for YEARS. I just have to ask where the heck do all the Pixie Sticks come from?!

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To view a slideshow of the entire Happiness Photo Project click here. Confused about what this is or why I'm doing it? Click here for an explanation of what it's all about.

Ainsley Rides A Trike!

I have something very special to share with you.

I think you will love it.

Words cannot describe how excited we were to see this video when Ainsley came home from school Monday. A big thanks to our nurse for taking it so we could see how far she has come. Last year she was able to pedal some, but she's gotten so much stronger. And now she is able to steer (in an open space).

We would love to buy her a special needs tricycle but they are very expensive. Even though they are "therapeutic" insurance does not pay for them. As you may have heard me mention, the company Steve worked for closed down in April. He has had a temporary contract working on Halo 4 but that ends in October and we are concerned about finances until he is permanently employed. With Ainsley's birthday coming up on October 18th, we would like to ask our family and friends who would normally buy her a gift, to consider a gift of cash toward a tricycle instead. If we can't raise enough funds we might extend our "Trike Drive" through Christmas.  I'd love someday to see her out in the driveway "riding bikes" with her brother and sister.

Until then I hope she will have a lot of opportunities to ride the school's olllld Rifton tricycle. I'd say it's time to amend her IEP, because she's got this DOWN!!!

Happiness Week 38

My week was pretty unexciting. Maybe because I wasn't feeling 100%. Ainsley had a touch of a runny nose and I caught it from her. It's a hazard of having too much one on one contact with her trach snot. I woke up with a sore throat, was tired and had a lot of headaches. Luckily since the kids are in school I was able to get some rest during the mornings. I was hoping I could keep it from turning into anything too bad and it worked. It seems we always get terribly sick when the kids go back to the germ cesspools we call school, but luckily we fared pretty well this year. Maybe in part due to the better than normal weather. We actually still have sun when we should have rain. I hope your week was more fun than mine.

I am not making as much progress as I'd like on my photo frame project. Things always come up. I have reviewed 3 years of photos and flagged the special ones. I have 120 pictures so far. And 50 spots. And 9 more years of photos to review. And a week left in September. Lord help me.

Daily Happiness Photos - Week 38
 

09/17 Grocery Shopping At Trader Joe's

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I LOVE Trader Joe's. I buy better whole foods, their prices are fair and since things don't "go on sale" I don't waste time comparing prices or looking for deals or waiting until it's on-sale to buy. The stores are smaller so I can get in and out in 20 minutes if I have a well prepared list. I remember how difficult it was to go to the store when Ainsley was born. I had Ainsley in the cart, her feeding pump, oximeter and suction bag, a puke bucket, diapers plus 2 other children 5-and-under that liked to show me everything and dance around with each other. It was a nightmare. Where we live now I have a choice of two TJ locations, and both have normal parking (a total luxury in the city where the spaces are 2/3 the normal size). Today after grocery shopping I was thinking to myself how easy it was to get what I need to feed my family and how much things have changed in 5 years. Hallelujah!

09/18 Waldorf Salad Wrap

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Do you get tired of eating the same old thing for lunch? I do. I had some left over chicken so I added a bit of chopped celery, onion, apple and walnuts a bit of mayo and wrapped it in a tortilla. It was yummy.

09/19 Teeth Brushing Time

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It was so cute, when Ainsley saw that Evie and Adrian were brushing their teeth before bed she asked to too. She stood up at the counter top and looked in the mirror and did everything they did. The sight of the 3 of them doing something so normal was so great!

09/20 Clean Hands

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Ainsley got ahold of the markers. Luckily the washable variety. She colored all over both hands. She came up and showed me and I let out a little shriek. She laughed. Then I told her to go wash her hands. You know what? She DID! She crawled to the bathroom, pulled herself up, turned on the light, turned on the water, got soap, washed off the marker, turned off the water, then dried her hands on the towel, turned off the light and came back and showed me. She didn't even make a mess. Steve and I just looked at each other in disbelief. WOW!

09/21 Sleeping with the Kids

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I love when the kids climb into my bed and we snuggle together and drift off peacefully to sleep. I co-slept with them as babies (except Ainsley because she has to wear a pulse-oximeter and humidifier when she sleeps) so it reminds me of those time and makes me feel like they aren't as grown up when they sleep in our bed. I cherish these times because I'm sure there will come a day that they are too big and it's probably not far off.

09/22 Pretty Things

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My sister Rene got married in Hawaii and had a local reception today at a friends parent's home. The hostess had a very feminine house with so many pretty things. I loved it. It's been a long time since I've been in that type of home. It makes you feel good. The dessert table was beautiful with the most amazing cupcakes and treats. It was a lovely time.

09/23 The Coronation of Queen Ainsley

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Evie staged an elaborate coronation ceremony outside for Ainsley. She was being elevated from "Princess of Cute" to "Queen of Cute". Since Steve was applying sealer to the driveway and I spent the entire day cleaning out the pantry (because I found some bugs) it was a much appreciated diversion.

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To view a slideshow of the entire Happiness Photo Project click here. Confused about what this is or why I'm doing it? Click here for an explanation of what it's all about.

Happiness Week 37

Fall is in the air, even if it is still beautifully sunny. The mornings are crisp and the afternoons are warm.  It's the perfect weather. I am enjoying it while it lasts because I'm sure the rain and cold will be here soon. The kids are liking school. I have a lot of time to take care of things before they get home. I'm a person who "likes to get things done", so that makes me happy. Steve is home now in the evenings because Halo 4 is done. We have family time. It is so nice for the kids, and takes a lot of pressure off me. I'm sure Steve is happy to be working less hours too. It's like everything changed overnight and it feels "weird". In a good weird kind of way.

In case you missed it, Ainsley started swallowing some solid foods. This is HUGE. Here's a link that my post about it, Major Feeding Progress. If you noticed some discontent in my posts these past few weeks it was largely due to the trials and tribulations of feeding. It's easy to lose faith during the tough moments when things aren't easy. Despite periods of doubt and the fact that this life isn't easy. I really wouldn't change a thing. This is how I feel about it.

Happy Monday, and I hope you have a good week whatever you have planned.

Daily Happiness Photos - Week 37

09/10 A Fire

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I love a fire. Real is best but gas is so convenient. The weather is changing so it's fire season again. During the fall and winter we run our gas fireplace every day. Ainsley also loves a fire and has missed it. First thing she pulled off her shoes and SMOs to warm her feet by the fire.

09/11 Driving Evie to Ballet

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It was just me and Evie driving to ballet class just like we've done since she was 3. The light is getting lower in the sky and it was beautiful the way it shone through the trees and window.

09/12 Wonder

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 This novel, Wonder, is about a 10 year old boy with a craniofacial anomaly. I couldn't put it down and finished it in just over a day. I read while waiting at Evie's bus stop, during ballet class, a bit before bed and even sat out on the patio reading with Evie, gasp, instead of doing something "useful". Having a child with a craniofacial condition (craniosynostosis) I was super excited to read it. I recommend it to EVERYONE! Read it!

09/13 Tea

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I love a cup of tea. Mostly herbal. Variety is the spice of life. This house has a perfect cabinet for storing my stash, only one box deep so you can see everything easily. It makes me very happy to open this cabinet and pick the perfect tea for my mood. I'm happy that it's tea season again. Come over and have a cup with me and we'll chat in front of the fire.

09/14 Toothless Smiles

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I was worried about losing Ainsley's smile, but I think her toothless smile is just as cute, maybe even cuter. We were watching the movie Tooth Fairy (ugh) and I asked Ainsley if she wanted me to pull it (I've been trying every few days. It's a stubborn tooth.) She's brave and really wanted it out. Then I forgot to put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy, darn it.

09/15 Loving Siblings

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I am so proud of my kids. All three. I love how close they are. It was a beautiful day for a soccer game and at the end Evie walked Ainsley up to "high-five" Adrian and tell him "Good game!" I am so grateful that Evie and Adrian are proud of their sister.

09/16 Using the China

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It is such a shame that most people don't use their china. Yes, I admit I was a little nervous to let Ainsley hold the teacup by herself but she did fine. It's meant to be used. China takes an ordinary meal and makes it special.  

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To view a slideshow of the entire Happiness Photo Project click here. Confused about what this is or why I'm doing it? Click here for an explanation of what it's all about.

Major Feeding Progress

I've been telling you I would write a post about feeding and here it is. I warn you it's long. Feeding issues are complex for a tube fed child but there is a video at the end of this post so read on and don't miss it at the end.

In June we started seeing a new speech therapist to work on oral motor skills as they relate to feeding and speech. We were referred to this therapist by Seattle Children's. I had been requesting to get Ainsley into an intensive feeding program meant to wean children off feeding tubes. Why?

Despite being virtually 100% tube fed Ainsley has been increasingly interested in table foods. A contradiction it would seem. She has always sat at the table with us at dinner time and explored table foods as far back as I can remember. She loves to taste, she just wouldn't swallow any of it. Recently though she has been putting the food further back in her mouth and even biting pieces off and chewing it some before spitting it out.

I've tried everything at home and I knew I needed help but after talking with them I decided it would be better to work with her at home with some guidance from a therapist rather than spend intensive periods of time at the hospital with all 3 kids.

Ainsley's been able to safely swallow purees (in limited quantities) for years. The hurdle was getting her to eat anything with any texture. She wouldn't even eat buttery mashed potatoes or applesauce without gagging. I knew that she could do it though because small chunks of fruit could be hidden in yogurt and she would swallow it fine until they were big enough that she noticed them. In addition small quantities of baby cereal could be added to smooth purees. There was an invisible line, though, and any time the texture surpassed "the line" she would gag rather severely and spit it out.

In the past I tried pureeing every possible combination of foods and flavors to make a puree that she really liked well enough to eat a meal sized quantities but nothing ever stuck, and she usually preferred her blenderized food.  In fact in summer of 2011 she was drinking her blenderized formula, about 32oz a day of it or 3/4 of her feedings. But it was short lived and when she got a virus (not from aspiration) she stopped eating orally overnight. I was suspicious that this "backsliding" was due to tonsillitis. Since then she has not been interested in drinking more than a few ounces of blenderized formula, whether I made it thick or thin. I tried again this summer with little success.  I have tried having her drink Pediasure and the result was no better.

Since her tonsillectomy in July I've seen an even greater increase in interest in foods and I've been hoping it was due to less inflammation down there by her epiglottis and perhaps an increased sense of taste (she is capping easily even with the 4.0 trach so I think she is getting better airflow now).  It is not uncommon for kids with trachs to have difficulty eating. In addion though Ainsley has a cerebellum malformation and eating is challenging for her in the same way that all other motor skills are. In addition her swallowing muscles are weaker because she doesn't have to eat orally.

After giving it a lot of consideration I decided the problem was that she really wanted the variety of taste and texture of table food but just didn't have the skills to eat them.

And so back to therapy.

We've been working on jaw strengthening. 

And working our way through the straw hierarchy and doing Beckman Oral Motor exercises.

In addition Dawn introduced this new therapy that I'd never heard of called ILS (Integrated Listening Systems-for a video with further explanation click here.).

For part of our therapy sessions she wears the ILS headphones while she works on oral skills or plays. The headphone has some sort of bone conduction piece in the connecting piece of the headphone that sits on the skull. The music is nice classical music that is designed for the program but basically just sounds like ordinary music to me.

  

Here she is really working over a pizza crust, one of her favorite "foods". These pictures were taken later after I'd been conducting my own intensive home feeding program this summer.

We worked on oral feeding for every meal plus snacks. I spent hours and hours spoon feeding.

I'd try to have her spoon it herself. Watching in the mirror helps with oral awareness. But ultimately she would tire. My goal was for her improve endurance and eat entire meals. I learned that hunger helped immensely but she just requires too many calories to eat all her food orally especially if it is pureed (not varied or interesting). I even made an AAC page so we could "talk" about the food. I thought perhaps she could tell me what she didn't like about the food. We worked on describing tastes: salty, sweet, spicy, & tangy. She did learn quickly to tell me to "warm it up". Until I learned that was a stalling tactic.

You name it, I've pureed it.

Conventional food likes veggies, chicken and potatoes with butter.

To pureed pepperoni pizza.

After trying it all, I knew the missing motivating factor was hunger and the bigger problem was her knowledge that when she would get tired I would just tube feed her.

Sure enough during these intensive feeding sessions she would cry and ask me to tube feed her. 

It was miserable. For all of us. And a shitty way to spend the last weeks of summer.

 

It wasn't easy for her.  I'd hoped she would get faster in time (and perhaps she would if we had that luxury) but instead I had to do the spooning in order to get the feedings done in a reasonable amount of time.

Still we made progress.  

As she got stronger and was motivated somewhat by hunger I got her to tolerate increasing textures. Like baby cereal with pureed berries, mashed bananas(a previously rejected texture) and cream.

  

For the first time in her life she ate a few ounces of buttery mashed potatoes. 

  

Even though we took apple squeezers to school when she was 2, she actually started to like them. (The new flavors also helped.) 

  

One day she even asked for a banana that she saw on the counter top. She bit it into a thousand pieces and even though she didn't swallow it, it was progress and I could tell she enjoyed it.  

She ate a tiny bit of refried beans. Another "texture" she previously would NOT tolerate. I think she may have swallowed some bits of tortilla chips.

She became excited for snacks, even if she couldn't fully eat them.

She started to tell me that she was hungry for the first time in her life. We had established the connection.

And although she always liked to work over a sausage or hot dog there was a difference in the amount of chewing I saw.

When I took the big kids to McDonald's for shakes I believe she swallowed a bit of french fry. And I think she started to swallow small bits of pizza crust and chips.

Unfortunately after 2 1/2 weeks of eating all her meals, 3 plus a snack or two, orally, she woke up with stomach pain. I think she had become constipated (Yes she was getting water through the tube.) probably from too many bananas, potatoes and maybe the pizza. I knew she wasn't feeling well and I wouldn't be able to get her to eat lunch and dinner that day. Even though she ate full feedings she was looking thinner and I knew she couldn't afford to skip any meals, even for a day. So I tube fed her.

I knew that once I "gave in" we were done. Tube feeding is easier for her. Eating is hard work for her. So if she knows tube feeding is an option she'll choose that.

And you wonder why I don't like tube feeding?

I was hoping we could make a full switch to oral before she started full days at school (and then progress with textures) and we were SO close. But ultimately I don't think she's quite ready. It was very disappointing. I could almost imagine a day that I could fix a single meal for my entire family or leave the house without having to bring feeding equipment. Or to someday eat at a restaurant without having to explain that one of my children can't eat or worry what other people might think about feeding her through a hole in her stomach.

I felt sick, for all the time spent that could have been spent doing something else.  This time and the countless hundreds of hours spent working on feeding over the past 5 years. It is hard to decide where to put your energy. Especially when you have other children.

Still think it was worth it. She strengthened her swallowing muscles some. And I think she worked through some of the texture aversion. And that paved the way for this glorious day.....

On Friday 9/7/12 she ate some goldfish crackers at school. Then later that night she ate more, probably another 15.*

See, all gone. Mostly.

We taught her the sign for fish crackers and she is eating some every day.

And at therapy she has allowed us to crush crackers into her applesauce. Another previously un-tolerated texture. It would appear we have crossed the bridge.  We will be keeping a close eye on her secretions to make sure she isn't aspirating. Despite previous questionable swallow studies, chest CT's over the past couple years appear to show her lungs have not deteriorated.  It may be a long road yet, but I have hope that Ainsley will one day be an oral eater.

*I would  like to thank my dear friend Lisa for recognizing what a big deal this is making the sweetest video to congratulate Ainsley. She LOVED it! To see it click here.

Medically Intensive Kids

I want to write about this while it's still somewhat fresh in my mind. Someone in our family recently told me that a family friend said that the reason she had home births was because if anything went wrong she didn't want the child(ren) to survive. In the context it was pretty obvious that they'd been talking about Ainsley and the inferred meaning is obvious.  It's quite astounding, really, what "well meaning" people will say. It's okay, I've developed a thick skin and it's not a surprise to me to know that some people think this.

I'm sure this "friend" was able to have beautiful natural births in her own home and perfect healthy little pink babies. Probably she was up making dinner the next day. And of course she must have effortlessly nursed all her babies. Maybe she even sewed their clothes. It is easy to be smug when you are lucky. And luck is really what it is. The chance of having a child with birth defects (hate that term) is quite high and occurs randomly across all ages, races, classes and people with all levels of education. It's a fact.

The truth is that modern medicine has caused many women to believe that birthing children is safe, but it wasn't always that way. My own mother's mother died as a complication of a home birth because the town doctor was "away on holiday".  My dear friend Karin died after child birth last year and she was in a hospital. Not only was giving birth dangerous for mothers, in the days before modern medicine, many children were still born or died shortly after birth. Some still do. Another fact.

I myself was an unplanned teenage pregnancy between two people who were not ready to be parents and in a different decade I probably would have resulted in an abortion instead of being adopted. In addition I was born 2 months premature weighing only 3lb 3oz. If I had been born a decade earlier, I might not have lived. I never had health complications but many premature babies do. With changes in technology these days more and more micro preemies can be and are saved  at a time when ironically they could legally be late term aborted. I have a lot of personal feelings about the value of all human life.

There are a lot of people who believe in survival of the fittest. This theory might make sense when you think of it purely in an advancement of the species way but the problem is in the execution of the theory in real life with real people. I know from comments like the one made by the family "friend" that some people think somehow we should have "let Ainsley die".   When people are sheltered in anonymity like they are when they post comments on the Internet or YouTube you learn that there are actually far more people who believe kids with birth defects should die than you would ever believe. I've had the most heartless comments left on videos that were posted there as a means to share Ainsley's achievements(which I immediately delete). I do believe some of these people might go so far as to commit murder and justify it in a Hitleresque kind of way.

I think sometimes people think that the doctors come in after the birth and ask "Would you like us to kill euthanize allow your child to pass by withholding medical services?" In all but the rarest situations they do not say anything of the kind and do what they can to protect life until it's obvious it is causing suffering to the patient. It's called the Hippocratic Oath. So when a child has trouble breathing they offer a tracheostomy, when there is a defect in an organ or limb of the body they attempt to repair it. Each "issue" is treated on its own. And so the child's life is saved and made better.

An interesting fact is that the tracheotomy is the oldest known surgery performed. Even though many people know little about them they have been performed successfully on children (and adults) for hundreds of years. Although a parent might be able to legally consent to withholding the surgery to do so could in many people's eyes, constitute murder. In Ainsley's case that was all that was needed to save her life. Further surgeries enhanced her life.

People in general are not against life saving surgeries or tracheostomies. If they were in a car accident and the choice was a trach and reconstructive surgery or death most people would not only want medical intervention they would expect it. Nobody would question whether the medical costs and care were "worth it". At the root of the difference between this scenario and saving the life of a child born with birth defects is the truth that some people don't believe these children are "worth saving" because they believe these children are "less" because they are "born this way". And this is when we get into very complicated issues of Bioethics and often, I believe, discrimination against people with intellectual disabilities. Many people think it is different if the child is intellectually "normal". Equal rights for the intellectually disabled is the last frontier of civil rights.

Advancements in medicine in recent years cause many children who would have previously died to live or live longer. Having one of these children in my own family I must admit the truth which is that it can place an enormous burden on the family when these children are brought home. But in addition these children bring amazing gifts to the family and world. Like all adversity we would not choose it, but it can make our lives richer and more meaningful. More importantly these "defective" children are people. Their own lives matter as much to them as yours does to you. Many of them have endured more suffering than you can imagine and yet their spirits are strong and shine regardless. If you are lucky enough to know one of these special children then you know what I mean.

And on that note I'd like you to watch this video (especially if you are secretly one of those people who believe these children should not be saved.). Pay attention to the lyrics of the song. Remember you can click on the arrows to make it full screen.

And on that happy note perhaps you might like to read my Happiness Week 36 post. It's a little bit lighter.

Happiness Week 36

It was back to school week this week. Now that it's Monday and we are starting the 2nd week of school I think things are going to be okay. I still have a bit of a dilemma because Adrian and Ainsley are getting ready for school at the same time and Ainsley's bus comes after Adrian's. Last year Steve would have left for work, Ainsley would be gone and I'd take Adrian to the bus. So far Steve has been staying to walk Adrian out but I don't think that's the ideal solution.  Having 3 kids in 3 schools does pose some logistical challenges. But I felt better when Ainsley's friend J's mom told me she has 6 KIDS IN 6 DIFFERENT SCHOOLS. That's the thing about life and happiness it's all about perspective. Pretty much everyone there is falls into the category of "Things could be better but things could also be worse" including the people we think have it better.

Now that summer is officially over I feel I should report that my Staycation Basket was not as successful as it could have been. It did give us some fun things to do  and was a bit of a diversion but I felt I was often having to say no when the kids proposed an activity that wasn't easy to execute on a given day, for example like having a lemonade stand or bringing out the Sculpy (though we finally did that one). The summer ended with a lot less done than I'd hoped even though I dedicated 2 months to it. The truth is it made me more unhappy than happy because it was so obvious I was failing. I guess it's the difference between the fantasy of how life could be and reality, especially the reality of having a special needs child with medical issues and a workaholic husband. Still I think it contributed to a funner summer and that was the goal.

Since I've learned that everything takes longer than you'd think, and I have limited free time I've decided that my "area of focus" for the month of September is to get my photos frames done for the living room wall. How silly is it to take all these great pictures and have none of them displayed?!What I really want is all my photos into albums, but since that isn't realistic I'm going to stick to something I might have a chance of completing. I figure if I announce it to the world then I have to do it. It might not sound like much but believe me trying to find 50 of my favorite pictures among thousands and thousands is going to be time consuming so I think that's about all I can handle this month. So expect to see that on the blog in October or the next time you come to visit our house.

It's getting near the end of the year. I'm excited to see my Happiness photo project when it is complete with an entire year captured in 365 pictures representing the things that made me happiest. In these posts I like to give details but at the end of the year the photos will have to stand on their own as a collection of images. Will it be interesting, boring, sad or what? When I see them as a group will I feel it was a good year or bad? What will other people see when they look at them? We shall see. I think it would also be interesting to do the same thing and but the opposite, all "unhappy" pictures of the things that cause stress and unhappiness. Then if you looked at the collections side by side, the best and worst of one person's life, what would that tell us?  A lot, I suspect, and I think it would make an interesting photography exhibit.

As the art in my TV room proclaims The Future is Just a Collection of Successive Nows. I hope you find ways to enjoy your "nows" this week whatever you are up to.

Daily Happiness Photos - Week 36

09/03 Bubble Gum

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One of the items in our Staycation Basket was Bubble Yum bubble gum for a bubble gum blowing contest. The kids wanted Steve to be there so we almost didn't get to it this summer. Of course he thought he would win and I thought I would. Who do you think won? The great thing about this family activity is that you can do other things while you blow bubbles, though you do risk your bubble not being seen. If it popped before it could be judged then it didn't count. When I was young I used to walk down the hill with my friend Michelle to the local drug store to get bubble gum and we would blow bubbles the whole way. At one time it was my specialty. I have some great pics but I didn't take them so I can't use them here. I love the expression on Adrian's face as he tries so hard to blow a bubble. He was successful but that picture doesn't capture the happiness for me as much as this one. It was a lot of fun! ......And of course I won. You should see what I can do with 2 pieces of gum.

09/04 Hot Air Balloons

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We were in Woodinville buying jeans for Adrian and when we left we spied hot air balloons. They sometimes fly over our house making a whooshing sound as the fire periodically blasts hot air up into the balloon . Today as we drove home we "chased" them in the car. (I actually took this picture out the sun roof with my point and shoot.) You really can't help but be happy when you see these, even if you have just spent an exhausting 2 hours shopping for clothes with 3 kids.

09/05 Celebrating the Small Things

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Whoever said money can't by happiness wasn't very creative. It surely can. I grew up in a family that didn't spend money unnecessarily. Frugal would be an apt description. We were lucky to get a cake on our birthday. Getting a cake for something as ordinary as the first day of school just didn't happen. Ever. To say that my kids were happy about the cake is an understatement. And considering how the day went I was really glad I took the time to get one. It was a nice way to end a stressful day.

09/06 100% SPO2

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Having I child with a trach means having monitor bodily functions that other parents just don't ever concern themselves with, like SPO2 levels. That means the level of oxygen in the blood. Ainsley SPO2 level and heart rate are monitored every night while she sleeps with a machine similar to this.  It's not uncommon for kids with trachs to have low oxygen levels. We are lucky that Ainsley despite everything is quite healthy and her levels are always good. Still I always worry a little when we go to the Pulmonologists office and they check it but it was 100% with her speaking valve on. She does so well in fact that I asked about not using the monitor (it frequently wakes us with false alarms). The Pulm says he loses 1-2 patients a year and they are usually those kids who were doing really well and weren't being monitored.

09/07 Putting My Feet Up

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Many days I'm pretty much on my feet the entire day. Especially with the kids home for summer. It should be the opposite but it's true. Now that they are back in school and we survived the week I was able to sit outside and put up my feet for a few hours, call a friend and write a blog post. It felt great. There was something else that made me really happy today but it's a secret and I'm saving it for another post.

09/08 Gardeners

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Finally we have gardeners here to help us. We bought this house for the layout and accessibility for Ainsley but we knew the yard would be more than we could handle even though we appreciated its beauty. We bought the house anyway and the maintenance has been a huge source of stress for me. Unfortunately the size of the yard makes finding an affordable gardener a challenge. They seem to be doing a good job and I am hopeful that they can get it into a condition that we can maintain.

09/09 Pudding with Feet

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Sometimes you have to just create your own happiness with chocolate.

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To view a slideshow of the entire Happiness Photo Project click here. Confused about what this is or why I'm doing it? Click here for an explanation of what it's all about.