May 3, 2008


This is an excerpt from a conversation moms were having on the trach forum. We often discuss how we feel about things well meaning people say to us. This time the subject was how people feel about when someone tells them they are expecting a miracle for their child. This is what I wrote:

Here is what Webster's says:
Miracle-An extraordinary event in the physical world which surpases all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause(or work of God).

Based on that definition I do NOT believe that miracles occur. I believe that the fact that our children live and thrive is a testiment to the human spirit and advances in medicine. The doctors have been able to do amazing mind boggling things, but is it a miracle? No.

Some people when they are praying for a miracle are hoping for the Websters variety. An act of God or the supernatural that changes the reality of what is that cannot be explained by medical science or fact. Sorry but I think hoping for this kind of miracle is just foolish. The blind don't see and the paralyzed don't walk for reasons that do not have a medical foundation. I think that apparent medical miracles have a basis in science. Not to say that things can't improve dramatically or unexpected for reasons we can't see or understand.

Quote: "God only gives you what you can handle" or "God gave you her because you're such a strong person". Please. Is that supposed to mean we got the shaft because we're strong, because we could handle it? Ugh. I love my daughter more than anything, but I refuse to believe that there is some higher purpose to her being born into our family.

I don't like or believe that either. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. There is good and bad in everything. People ARE sometimes given more than they can handle in life. There are sad sad cases of parents murdering their children and or committing suicide. We are strong. But we are also weak.

And it is not a blessing to a child to be born with birth defects (for lack of a better term). Can they rise above it and be even more amazing? Yes. But if it was so great to have a trach or have medical conditions to build character we would want that for all the worlds children. Ridiculous. To believe that what they suffer through was given by God as some sort of teaching lesson for them or myself would only make me believe in a God that is cruel. And I don't believe that.

Here's a link to the whole thread if you are interested in reading the varied opinions of moms with special needs children and what they think about hoping for a miracle.

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